Renegade Latvian beaver dominates global news agenda

Take note – story published 7 years ago

As you cannot possibly have failed to notice, a story we wrote last week about wildlife has proven to be rather popular in international news media.

Here at LSM we spend every waking hour slaving away in a state of high-testosterone journalistic excitement to bring you the best in news and reportage from Latvia.

We have done proper investigations, we have been first with reviews of important new cultural events, we've put tough questions to those in power, we have stayed up all night to ask someone you've probably never heard of how it feels to be elected prime minister.

But clearly, all that was really wanted was a psychotic beaver and a plot that even the makers of Police Academy would have rejected as too silly.

The beaver story is even more popular than the one about the drunk airBaltic crew.

Leading US newspaper USA Today was among the first to pick up the story, for some reason finding it hard to accept the story was genuine. We contacted them to provide necessary reassurance.

Next up was The Week, which we assume is a weekly, whose story was in turn picked up by the mighty MSN. Their "exit pursued by a beaver" line was particularly good among the various beaver puns and gags flying through cyberspace.

In hot pursuit was news portal Newser followed by Mandatory. There are others if you can be bothered to Google them.

The only thing spoiling the pleasure of seeing one aggressive Latgalian rodent prompting millions of worldwide clicks and chuckles was when we saw Kremlin propaganda wire Sputnik had also picked up the story. For the first time ever we doubted whether the beaver really existed.

However the fact that Sputnik chose not to adopt its usual tone with this story and say this was a fascist Latvian beaver attacking a defenseless member of the Russian minority suggests that for the first time ever, Sputnik may actually be telling the truth. So at least one good thing came from the attack.

And if you do happen to see a familiar furry figure skulking in the shadows of Daugavpils and its environs, please let it know we will pay as many juicy leaves or virgin tree trunks as it demands for an exclusive interview.

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